Wedding Gifts & Thanks

Holding a successful wedding requires an almost endless number of lists which seem to present a daunting task. If you are lucky enough to have a sister, mother, or best friend willing to take on some of the responsibility, the burden can gratefully be shared. Modern grooms often involve themselves by helping in areas that used to be the sole province of the bride.

One list that must be started early and maintained assiduously is the record of gifts that are certain to be showered on a young couple and begin arriving shortly after the wedding announcements are out. To prevent this task from becoming overwhelming, each gift needs to be recorded along with the giver and date of receipt in a notebook. Unless the couple wishes to spend their honeymoon writing letters of thanks, it is best to write them as soon as each gift is received. If not, this note-writing task will get ahead of you. Notes of thanks are formal communications and are never sent by text or email. To do so is a serious breach of wedding etiquette.

Despite all your best efforts to avoid duplicate gifts by registering at various outlets and retail stores, the couple will undoubtedly find themselves with four toasters or six sets of salt and pepper shakers or even mismatched linens. Unless they were given by a dear aunt who will inspect the pantry each time she visits to ascertain if her gift is in place, such duplications can be exchanged for something the couple really needs. However, the bride or groom should follow up by writing a note to the gift giver praising the virtues of the replacement gift and expressing profound gratitude. It is worth emphasizing here that gifts of money require a written note that describes in some way how the couple will use that token of generosity. Often, financial contributions to the marriage can help the couple obtain items missing from their list of household needs.

Brides and grooms must always thank their bridesmaids and groomsmen individually and personally for their support and participation in their wedding celebration. Whether or not they carry out particular logistical tasks in support of the event, the wedding party participants endure at least some sacrifices and should never go unacknowledged. The proper way to express gratitude for their demonstration of love and support is by handwritten note, never by email or texting. The wedding party spent their time and money to be part of the couple’s important day. They can certainly take the time to write a short thank-you to each person. It shows both gratitude and respect. Bridesmaids are often given gifts commensurate with the bride’s financial circumstances to show a special appreciation for being willing to buy and wear a dress they will probably never use again. If a wedding video is produced, copies make a splendid gift for the wedding party so they can relive the wedding experience.